|
Thursday, June 12, 2008 @ 9:30 PM
[ -/edited ] don't read it if you don't wanna waste your time . this whole post will be all my complains¬hing else . if any of the content irritate you , thats your own business ! I have got so much to say that idk where to begin . you blew off my dreams time to time , again&again . today , i accidentally cut my hand , i made a BIG fuss about it . complaining that its superb pain&itchy . only until i saw the message you text me , yeahs , only then , i knew , what really hurts . my heart went ' thud ! ' after i read the message . fcuk it all , thats what i could think at the moment ! when is the last time , may i ask you , sir ? this is the fcuking 3rd time ! idk when will really be the last time , neither do i wish to know . every time , your assumption questions kills ! each&every time you assure me that its the last time . &every time , i choose to believe in you . now , i no longer do so . So what if i really love you , there can't be love when there is no trust . So , don't talk about love when there is no trust at all . I'm a girl , i need more assurance than you . I assure you again&again . I had given you what i could give . If my love for you was so weak that you can't feel it to the sense that you can't trust me , there's nothing i could do at all . every single time , when you are stress , i suffer , its like a routine , every once in a while , you acted up . hey , i don't fcuking hell deserve these shit can ! i don't give people second chance but you are an exception . i don't want to endure this anymore . i don't want to cry anymore . i don't want to be hurt again . A million of i don't want . A million of tears i cried , its pins&needles . Questions that you asked , i tried my best to give you the answer , even when i was more then reluctant to say anything . to you , i said it all , without keeping anything . still , not every question you ask i will have the answer . sometimes , put yourself in my shoes&think , maybe i will be more grateful towards you . instead of you making all the things worst . I'm stress , seriously stress , for you , i gave&gave my best . but it seems like , you just won't be happy or be contented with what you have&what i gave. neither do you seems to appreciate what i did for you but only demanding for more . let me ask , who is more faithful , you or me ? i never think of other guys when we are together . &what did you told me ? of course you will think of other girls . i said nothing . i kept quiet . i didn't make a fuss . i didn't start a scene . i did nothing but let you be . cause i always trust you . but what about you ? Is it my fault that other peeps like me ? Is it my fcuking fault ? I didn't go up to them&say , " hey , can you peeps like me ?" I can't control what they wanna do , likewise , i can't control you . &when i did nothing , you told me to be faithful . whats with that ? you said you want to be with me until your last feelings faded . so , it means that , you must be the one who ask me to go instead of me asking you to go ? let me ask you , have you seriously consider about my feelings before you text me anything ? its only when the pain is done , then you realize what you did . you pushed all the blame to your stress , confused , jealousy&any other thing you could think of . after that , do you learn from your mistakes ? hell no ! is trusting me so difficult that i had to classify it as an impossible task ? you took away the smallest trust i need&threw me down the cliff . you call doubting as concern ? you tear down every single thing you built in the past . &now , left with nothing at all . Relationship is like glass . Sometime it's better to leave them broken then try to hurt yourself putting it back together . when i smile it doesn't mean that I'm alright . I'm just trying to be strong . I'm just trying to be happy. I'm just trying to laugh . I'm just trying not to cry anymore . I'm just trying not to think anymore . No matter how much i love you now , you won't know , neither do i wish to say &now , no matter what , i want to put everything down . For the love i had for you , i will just keep it in my heart , for , lord will know what to do with it . 这次，不管有多痛，多舍不得，多爱你 I hope you could understand . I don't care how people or your friends would think or judge me . I'm just too weak to think/care now . Yes , Jo , your are right , i need you by my side now . I'm too weak to carry on . xinyi honey , tomorrow , lend me your shoulder . xinying boyf , thanks for standing by me all these while . I lost faith/trust or anything related to the word love/relationship . this song , describes my feelings now . "Behind These Hazel Eyes" Seems like just yesterday You were a part of me I used to stand so tall I used to be so strong Your arms around me tight Everything, it felt so right Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong Now I can't breathe No, I can't sleep I'm barely hanging on Here I am, once again I'm torn into pieces Can't deny it, can't pretend Just thought you were the one Broken up, deep inside But you won't get to see the tears I cry Behind these hazel eyes I told you everything Opened up and let you in You made me feel alright For once in my life Now all that's left of me Is what I pretend to be So together, but so broken up inside 'Cause I can't breathe No, I can't sleep I'm barely hangin' on Here I am, once again I'm torn into pieces Can't deny it, can't pretend Just thought you were the one Broken up, deep inside But you won't get to see the tears I cry Behind these hazel eyes Swallow me then spit me out For hating you, I blame myself Seeing you it kills me now No, I don't cry on the outside Anymore... Here I am, once again I'm torn into pieces Can't deny it, can't pretend Just thought you were the one Broken up, deep inside But you won't get to see the tears I cry Behind these hazel eyes Here I am, once again I'm torn into pieces Can't deny it, can't pretend Just thought you were the one Broken up, deep inside But you won't get to see the tears I cry Behind these hazel eyes ------- my lord , you told me , forgive&forget . but now , I'm sorry that i fail you . I really can't be my usual self to forgive&forget . for , I really hurt . |
profile
J-min
05Oct1992
Craziness&laughters are my daily medicineMy world revolves around my , BOYFRIEND (: KOHXINYI HONEY Jo Bitch;Queenie Fairytale, Vintage, Leona Lewis , Flowers, Laughters, Girlfriends, Tuilips, Dance, Rainbow&lilies I blog what i want , If you aren't happy or any content irritates you , then go away (: comments
Tagboard here. I recommend shoutmix.affiliates
CherryBanana Apple Orange Grape This layout is done by balloon.s with the help from here. Archives
October 2007November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 May 2009 June 2009 |