Your moment of weaknesses
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Monday, June 30, 2008 @ 8:15 PM
May karma bless you all Bs! @ 6:10 PM Queen , I know you care for me . I know you won't harm me . I know you are good to me . I know you will always be the one there for me . but its different when it comes to who is being there . i know , we will be there for each other no matter what . love ya , Jo . thanks (: it doesn't mean that I'm fine when i smile . just like today when I'm in school . I'm oh-so-not-right . So feel like falling apart , tired of crying EVERYDAY ! i believe in Karma . what goes around comes around , watch out . @ 4:58 PM It isn't nice at all to start off the day like this A text message to inform that there is dance in the noon &later right after school , a call right after school : rush down immediately what if i have to stay for Chinese class or go for Oral , skip it ? DUH ! my heart always skip a beat when Mr Lance call , because it means , nothing good will be happening . Yeahs , so hella true , like the call i got in the afternoon . Rushed all the way home&there . when i reached there , i closed my eyes&pray . Let it be fine .. Open the door , damn it ! that same typical atmosphere when somebody is trying to be funny . I had to drag myself in , which is like that last thing , i ever though of . Instead of joining the usual group , i choose to sit at the corner . You guys know that I'm not feel right especially when i saw someone that i don't wish to see at all . 2 freaking hours of brainstorming , when all the things was done already ! fed up a not you tell me ?! adding up to the troubles that I'm facing . Mr Lance , don't push me too hard . I will just give up&drop out . Jo , seriously i appreciate what you have been doing for me all these while . but i really don't like what you said to me today . what i have today is what i had been working hard for , not that I'm born with it . you told me that you understand exactly how I'm feeling . I'm sorry queen , but no . You won't understand . I know you have been through it before , but you have matt back then for you to fall back . I have nothing ! I hope you will understand what I'm trying to tell you . 我不知道有了你的关心我会不会变得太贪心 i just don't feel good when i see you talking to her Sunday, June 29, 2008 @ 7:52 PM totally forgotten about the celebrations i promised the kiddy until Bitch came to remind me today ahs ! *slaps myself~ Nlevel EL oral on Wednesday&Olevel MT Oral on Friday Nervous , nervous . i spent like an hour filling up the Testimonial Draft kill my brain cells only -_- Okays , seems like its going to rain now . the thunder , brr ! i just heard someone shouting when she heard the thunder . i hate raining days , cause my mind will go la la . alrights , preparing for school tomorrow . got a first-day-of-school feeling . hmms .. i just can't find the right word to describe how i feel at time . the right word will only come , when I'm with you . Saturday, June 28, 2008 @ 11:29 PM i miss the phone call chats . everything .. *posted somewhere secret @ 8:19 PM  Ralph Lauren cologne Darryl&Jim's birthday , got them each one of it , since they had been asking me to get them this . got them the 50ml each . okays , cost me quite a bomb though Jo did pay a little for it . so , you two idiot , i expect something nice on my birthday :D out on Friday , Town, Bugis, Central, Vivo . hurhur , Matt was the slave driver the whole day . &jo was trying to poke my eyes the whole day lahs . tamade ! just because i refused to try PCD's new song ' when i grow up ' dance with her . boo , you horrr ! made my spec today , hurhur . I'm still not ready for study . *sign .. My heart feel so heavy , i wonder , if you still read my post . i want to dance the whole night in the rain Thursday, June 26, 2008 @ 3:36 PM i thought i would be fine Monday, June 23, 2008 @ 2:18 PM
WHAT THE .. i think i should be given the award , dumbest candidate .*sign ! everybody should get a pat for doing well . for me , a stab for carelessness ! the shorter that it takes , the more people need , &i can happily write 6 down . *slap myself * well , completed the paper within 1 hour plus , checked&day dream . as for history , hmms , idk what to say lahs ! i studied for V.T. , yeahs , studied you know , the the question came out , V.T. &part be was LON FREAK THAT LON LAHS ! CHER ! YOU NEVER MENTION ABOUT LON CAN ! whatever , its common sense lahs , LON comes with V.T. strangely , i know how to answer stalin's&hitler's question when i didnt touch a bit of it can ! &i can still dumbly choose to answer that question . *sign. forget about prelims , i wont care about the grades :D Sunday, June 22, 2008 @ 7:40 PM UPSIDEDOWN hell is tomorrow , exams . *sign ! there is hundred&one things in my mind , cant really concentrate . well , hope i will survive . Thursday, June 19, 2008 @ 9:15 PM my eye hurtsssss ! rest early today&study tomorrow . intensive revision . no matter how hard , i will pull it through . on the verge of breaking down . Wednesday, June 18, 2008 @ 10:16 PM i believe that , as time pass , everything will be alright . &right now , i only want to study . I almost went crazy the past few day&was so-not-me ! so sorry to those who were worried about me , espically Jo . she is the best i can ever have . neglecting her studies, family&boyf. she was like 24/7 there for me . whenever i break down , she will be here , right here . thats queen . also , xinyi honey , the small notes&present . Joyce , for the book&coming all the way down from toa payoh to my housing area . &the tags : Evelyn sis , i have thought about it already . its time to stop all this thing . Nearly forgotten their birthday this year , HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DARRYL, JIM, PHILIP&ANNA (: Darryl&Jim: as usual , i will still be nagging you all forever . My brothers , one year older already okays ! Don't every time bully me. got karma one hors . so sorry that i'm quite a wet blanket during your party .&so sorry that you guys have to go along with me to held it at my housing area and still have to pull me out of my house . hmms , well , i still go in the end what ! we will still be brother&will forever be . Best wishes&God bless you ! :D Philip : Ai seh , you grow up luhs lohs ! will ' an wei ' me today . hahas .well , hope that every thing out there is well for you . Best wishes& God bless you (: Anna : Beauty queen of only 15 . I'm still one year bigger then you lahs . dont yaya with me . i will still win you . hahas . girl , one year older already . Ilovveyou lahs girl ! yeahs , we will hit the dance floor one day (: Best wishes& God bless you . :D though everything was still so not right for me now but i will just let it be . &leave everything to my lord I'm so sure , he know whats the best for me . just that , I'm so lost , without you . this song is so me . sign . Friday, June 13, 2008 @ 11:57 PM i used up my whole tissue box ... @ 10:53 PM my head is spinning , nothings right . like what i had said , I'm gonna let go no matter how difficult is it . my hear&mind is so heavy . I'm breathing hard , the tears in my eyes blur the vision . I can't feel my heart beat . no matter what it takes , I'm gonna walk alone this time . I feel like killing myself for making you feel like this don't call yourself in that manner anymore . 眼泪代替你吻我的脸 I feel so dead , every thing's bleeding . I wish i can go to hibernate n never wake up again. Thursday, June 12, 2008 @ 9:30 PM [ -/edited ] don't read it if you don't wanna waste your time . this whole post will be all my complains¬hing else . if any of the content irritate you , thats your own business ! I have got so much to say that idk where to begin . you blew off my dreams time to time , again&again . today , i accidentally cut my hand , i made a BIG fuss about it . complaining that its superb pain&itchy . only until i saw the message you text me , yeahs , only then , i knew , what really hurts . my heart went ' thud ! ' after i read the message . fcuk it all , thats what i could think at the moment ! when is the last time , may i ask you , sir ? this is the fcuking 3rd time ! idk when will really be the last time , neither do i wish to know . every time , your assumption questions kills ! each&every time you assure me that its the last time . &every time , i choose to believe in you . now , i no longer do so . So what if i really love you , there can't be love when there is no trust . So , don't talk about love when there is no trust at all . I'm a girl , i need more assurance than you . I assure you again&again . I had given you what i could give . If my love for you was so weak that you can't feel it to the sense that you can't trust me , there's nothing i could do at all . every single time , when you are stress , i suffer , its like a routine , every once in a while , you acted up . hey , i don't fcuking hell deserve these shit can ! i don't give people second chance but you are an exception . i don't want to endure this anymore . i don't want to cry anymore . i don't want to be hurt again . A million of i don't want . A million of tears i cried , its pins&needles . Questions that you asked , i tried my best to give you the answer , even when i was more then reluctant to say anything . to you , i said it all , without keeping anything . still , not every question you ask i will have the answer . sometimes , put yourself in my shoes&think , maybe i will be more grateful towards you . instead of you making all the things worst . I'm stress , seriously stress , for you , i gave&gave my best . but it seems like , you just won't be happy or be contented with what you have&what i gave. neither do you seems to appreciate what i did for you but only demanding for more . let me ask , who is more faithful , you or me ? i never think of other guys when we are together . &what did you told me ? of course you will think of other girls . i said nothing . i kept quiet . i didn't make a fuss . i didn't start a scene . i did nothing but let you be . cause i always trust you . but what about you ? Is it my fault that other peeps like me ? Is it my fcuking fault ? I didn't go up to them&say , " hey , can you peeps like me ?" I can't control what they wanna do , likewise , i can't control you . &when i did nothing , you told me to be faithful . whats with that ? you said you want to be with me until your last feelings faded . so , it means that , you must be the one who ask me to go instead of me asking you to go ? let me ask you , have you seriously consider about my feelings before you text me anything ? its only when the pain is done , then you realize what you did . you pushed all the blame to your stress , confused , jealousy&any other thing you could think of . after that , do you learn from your mistakes ? hell no ! is trusting me so difficult that i had to classify it as an impossible task ? you took away the smallest trust i need&threw me down the cliff . you call doubting as concern ? you tear down every single thing you built in the past . &now , left with nothing at all . Relationship is like glass . Sometime it's better to leave them broken then try to hurt yourself putting it back together . when i smile it doesn't mean that I'm alright . I'm just trying to be strong . I'm just trying to be happy. I'm just trying to laugh . I'm just trying not to cry anymore . I'm just trying not to think anymore . No matter how much i love you now , you won't know , neither do i wish to say &now , no matter what , i want to put everything down . For the love i had for you , i will just keep it in my heart , for , lord will know what to do with it . 这次，不管有多痛，多舍不得，多爱你 I hope you could understand . I don't care how people or your friends would think or judge me . I'm just too weak to think/care now . Yes , Jo , your are right , i need you by my side now . I'm too weak to carry on . xinyi honey , tomorrow , lend me your shoulder . xinying boyf , thanks for standing by me all these while . I lost faith/trust or anything related to the word love/relationship . this song , describes my feelings now . "Behind These Hazel Eyes" Seems like just yesterday You were a part of me I used to stand so tall I used to be so strong Your arms around me tight Everything, it felt so right Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong Now I can't breathe No, I can't sleep I'm barely hanging on Here I am, once again I'm torn into pieces Can't deny it, can't pretend Just thought you were the one Broken up, deep inside But you won't get to see the tears I cry Behind these hazel eyes I told you everything Opened up and let you in You made me feel alright For once in my life Now all that's left of me Is what I pretend to be So together, but so broken up inside 'Cause I can't breathe No, I can't sleep I'm barely hangin' on Here I am, once again I'm torn into pieces Can't deny it, can't pretend Just thought you were the one Broken up, deep inside But you won't get to see the tears I cry Behind these hazel eyes Swallow me then spit me out For hating you, I blame myself Seeing you it kills me now No, I don't cry on the outside Anymore... Here I am, once again I'm torn into pieces Can't deny it, can't pretend Just thought you were the one Broken up, deep inside But you won't get to see the tears I cry Behind these hazel eyes Here I am, once again I'm torn into pieces Can't deny it, can't pretend Just thought you were the one Broken up, deep inside But you won't get to see the tears I cry Behind these hazel eyes ------- my lord , you told me , forgive&forget . but now , I'm sorry that i fail you . I really can't be my usual self to forgive&forget . for , I really hurt . Monday, June 9, 2008 @ 11:03 PM lucks to my kiddys tomorrow (: Monday, June 2, 2008 @ 11:12 PM 3 bruises , 1 big patch of scratches&a few cuts on my knees . i admit , I'm accident prone :D stayed up late these few nights to get all the port folio done . still a little more to go mood swing these few day was pretty bad . it goes up&down and up&down . everything is so screwed up ! |
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J-min
05Oct1992
Craziness&laughters are my daily medicineMy world revolves around my , BOYFRIEND (: KOHXINYI HONEY Jo Bitch;Queenie Fairytale, Vintage, Leona Lewis , Flowers, Laughters, Girlfriends, Tuilips, Dance, Rainbow&lilies I blog what i want , If you aren't happy or any content irritates you , then go away (: comments
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