I lost everything in an blink of eye ,
I'm back to square one .

Not even give a choice , fair ?
stuck in between my parents&you .
its either them or you .
sorry , forgive me .
i choose them over you .

i cried like shit , seriously .
its like , i lost a part of me when i gave up the best thing i even had .
more then reluctant to let go , i still let it go .
i know i was cruel , i had no choice .
forgive me , though i know , I'm not worth your forgiveness
&the decision is to let you go is definitely right .
at least you won't suffer with me .
i want you to be happy , I'm not worth .
blame me if you want , i don't mind . cause i know I'm wrong .

for 1 month plus ,
every night without fail , two hours of ranting&scoldings
i tolerated , i hide from everybody .
thinking that , one day , they will accept .
no ! hell wrong !
things just go worst , so wrong .
at times , in the night , when i go out to the kitchen , i look down the window .
i think to myself , let everything just come to an end can ?

tired , really tired .
family , you , studies , friends , dance
I'm just a 15 going 16 ,
i can fcuking hell take the weight of so much things .
i will break down
&i have already break down .

that choice was given me so suddenly ,
i didn't know how to react to it .
didn't want to affect your exam ,
but i failed .
i hope that you wont get affected .
i have nothing to say ,
just that letting go would make things easier .

smile though the tears ,
i want to be strong but i just fcuking hell cried every where i go
major breakdown this afternoon ,
i don't know how long i cried ,
but JO , thanks for lending me your shoulder , i know i wet it , totally .
XINYI honey , thanks for the concern , i really really appreciate it
XY , thanks for spending time with me this afternoon , even though you know there is a major paper tomorrow .
SH , thanks for trying to stop me from crying .

i won't blame my parents ,
i won't disobey my parents .
but , i just find it hard to adapt to what i am now .

again , sorry for hurting you .