perpetual-fears

2009-06-12T00:38:00.003+08:00

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2009-06-06T17:24:00.003+08:00

Finally , I'm able to put Chinese aside& concentrate on other subjects .
Paper 1 was alright , i guess .
As for paper 2 , i was having a terrible migraine ):
I managed to complete the paper though .

English enrichment was good ,
I learnt lots of new thing .
The only problem i had was with the teacher's accent .
The way she teaches us was good , I learnt quite alot .

Guys , leave me your email so that I am able to invite you to my private blog (:
Through email , thanks ! (:

I saw the other side of you &realised , what you had been saying all along ,
trying to pull me down&make me infamous ; everything you had say ...
You are refering to yourself . You are not worth it .

2009-05-17T22:13:00.003+08:00

3 hours of mother tongue this week , I like .
though i might just dread it by Wednesday.
As i can predict , letter writing, compo, MT paper 2 ..

I can more or less foresee my results and the number of underlines i will get when i receive my report book .
Daddy&mummy have been nice to me, telling me that they wont mind about the results i get this time . But, will slaughter me if i get the same results for my prelims .
Somehow , i THINK teachers who are marking my maths , poa&science papers might fall off theirs or pull their hair when they mark my paper .
because , yours sincerely , just found out during my last few paper , I kept mixing up the plus , minus , times and divide buttons on my calculator !

Guan ling might just vomit blood when she see my paper XD
whatever it is , its over . I will do better next time .

Mummy brought me a new school bag , same as sweet , just the colour is different ..

Ps: I think its time to pack my room XD

2009-05-11T12:21:00.002+08:00

I have lost count .
its either the 5th or 6th visit to the doctor ,
to get my course of medicine .

I totally screwed up my MYE
all thanks to my cough !
i couldn't even think or write as usual .

I know i will fail my maths , science , POA and my humanities , no doubt .
I couldn't even study or memorise a single thing-i-need-to-know .
I just stare at my book or notes for the whole day , with nothing going in .
even my notes were last year's notes .
to you who are always trying so hard to surpass me ,
you got it this time round .
but only this time , because I'm sick , &cant take ur wickedness .

Daddy&mummy are trying so hard to convince me that, results does not matter this time ,
then again , I just wouldn't listen .

Please , grow up and stop being bitchy .

SICK, MYE = FAIL !!

2009-05-02T23:02:00.003+08:00

Flu, cough ..
went to the doctor 3 times this month .
whatever lahs , want say i kena swine flu jiu say lahs !
feeling so F* up already .

Mid year is here and I'm sick ,
thanks ah! for giving such a good treat .

give me a break from all the Olevels, bitching , quarrels, arguments , backstabbing , exams, mock test , class test , STRESS!
Understand what i mean when i say SICK&TIRED ?!!

whatever it is , I'm giving up on my mid-year ,
which is very obvious , cause I'm blogging instead of studying my ass out .
Jo , i mean it when i say ' I fail for you to see! ' okays .

have been eating porridge these few day , so bland&...
medicine are never-ending .

it feels like shit when you are sick&still can't have a good rest .
&mummy , i need my backpack SOON okays ?
If not my shoulder might break anytime..

I need to rest ...

2009-03-31T21:25:00.002+08:00

Having migraine since Sunday .
Went Qing Ming , yeahs , with a heavy heart .
I still miss grandfather , a lot ..
Lunch at Dragon Gate restaurant at HF, not very nice .
Wilyn&I kept complaining about it
Aunt sent me to tuition,
&met up with Joyce aftermath .

Yours sincerely still have not realise my own mistakes
&in fact , keep repeating it .
Therefore , i keep repeating stupid mistakes during all my mock/class test!
Migraine was really killing me the whole of yesterday ,
especially during English Mock .
Obviously i wrote rubbish on that paper luhs .
&chemistry test today , I left out the fluorine from my equation .
okays , can go bang the wall already XD

1 year this weekend , thanks for everything (:

J-min has finally learn how to accept things the way they are .
even at the worst situation , she will not fall , at most , being stupid during test :D
She will leave everything to God&follow His words .
&Sweet's shoulder to fall on (:

With these , she is more then satisfied (:

I do what i want and not others want.
I account for my own future and not others.
As long as i think what is right, i will follow my heart .
I need not do things to please or give in to others even if I'm gonna suffer .

2009-03-27T14:24:00.002+08:00

You can't please everyone, after all theses years of 'these', i gave up this year .
ever since i got into secondary school , i changed .
in the past , I'm always a bad tempered girl , I'm not willing to give in
not to even mention about forgive&forget .
Friends from primary school know, i don't smile, i will pull a long face at anybody .
but now , i smile VERY often , even when something/someone pulls me down
don't think that things that are happening now does not affect me , it does ..

" You may be generally an
amiable&pleasant person. You may generally get along well with most people.
But somehow, there is that one family member, that one friend, that one
colleague, who doesn't take to you very well. "

Maybe , we didn't take each other well , we took everything for granted.
I can appear as if nothing affects me , but somehow , there is something which shows that I'm deeply affected . If only , you knew me well enough , or noticed my changes .

"Be positive. Focus on your happy r/s(s). At the
same time, accept that there will be ones that don't go so well. Whatever you
say or do, whoever you are, whatever character or personality you have, you
won't be able to please everyone. "

Its either me or he/she has walked far away , forgetting to grab on to each other's hand tight .
Forgetting how we walked through together during childhood days .

Whatever it is , i choose to accepted whatever i got , good or bad .

Meet the parents session tomorrow , mum kept complaining that it will be a waste of time ,
cause we met get the teacher who does not teach me at all .

&also a note to myself , stop being so dumb during test&wise up!
better study&be alert during test, and not realising what you should actually do ,
only after the test .
Its time to wake up !

I have to complete my to-do-list soon ,
collage that i have been owing those birthdays peeps .
Homework that are overdue .
Clear up my room .
&lastly be more hardworking!

Secondary 5 seems to give me depression ):

2009-02-28T23:08:00.002+08:00

11th soon ,
very soon :D:D

tired of school .
I doubt I'm able to clear my test this week .
Skip through almost everything .

&ever since the start of the year ,
I lost interest in blogging .
shutting this blog soon, or maybe moving away ?
depends ..
I prefer private now .

i need a long break ~

2009-02-13T22:29:00.002+08:00

满足 (:

2009-01-11T12:57:00.002+08:00

I'm really not in the mood to do any homework after this tired week lohs
I still have not get used to going school after having such a long holiday ,
literally drag myself to school everyday ):

poly open house seems did not help us either ,
the students don't even know how to walk , no clear details about the course ..
simply like wasting time !

I keep forgetting to tell mr lance that I wont be going dance until my O's are over ..
Jo , help me :D

tiredtiredtired ):

2009-01-01T00:45:00.003+08:00

I'm going to save money hard to buy sweetest a IT gadget, any gadget that catch sweetest's eyes on sweetest's 18 birthday (:
cause my parents don't really allow me to work , no choice but to save myself ..

School's starting on Friday , I think i lost my uniform ):

ohs, Happy new year!
Have a blessed year ahead (:

2008-12-23T22:35:00.000+08:00

school's starting like real soon ):

2008-12-18T12:20:00.000+08:00

NervousNervousNervous

2008-12-16T16:24:00.000+08:00

Happy girl (:

Ring from sweetest&Ipod from aunt

2008-12-03T23:04:00.006+08:00

I'm helping my mum to sell of the mask she ordered .
as she ordered way too much luhs .
maybe we will continue selling if the response is good yeahs (:
support support !

Terms&conditions

I will not be responsible for anything if the mask irritates your skin .
I will only refund you the cost of the mask if it irritates provides you show me proof .
Payment through ATM transfer&meet up
NO PAYMENT = NO ORDER
Postage rates will be calculated based on Singpost website
I do meet up too ! (:
Meet up available only to my convenient (:
No last minutes back up once order are confirm
Clear your doubts before placing your orders
I will not be responsible for lost mail but i will promise that i will check it out for you
Confirmation reply will be sent to your email once order is confirmed.
Please make payments within 2-3 days once you have ordered.
Please do not be late during meet up or at least inform me half an hour earlier

Order format
Name
Handphone number
Email
Address
Mode of collection

All mask are selling at $1.50SDG ONLY !

ask me if you have any enquries , I don't bite , I'm friendly (:
you can either email me at jmin.masks@gmail.com or sms to 93507359

Hyaluronic Acid Mask
Effect: Anti-aging, Moisturizing
Qty: 1

L-Ascorbic Acid Whitening Mask
Effect: Instant Brightening, Anti-oxidant
Qty:2

Sakura Whitening Mask
Effect: Whitening
Qty:1

E.G.F. Reconstruct Mask
Effect:Prevent and reduce wrinkle
Qty:1

Whitening Eye Mask
Qty:1

Underarm mask
Qty:1

Rice Wine Mask
-Anti-aging
-Hrdrating&clarifies skin
-minimizing pores
Qty:1

Q10 collagen Mask
-Improves elasticity of skin, giving skin smoothness&clarity
-Renew cells&inhabits aging
Qty:1

L-ascorbic acid Mask
- Restore glow and eliminates skin pigmentation spots
-Hydrates skin and smoothen out wrinkles hence improving skin elasticity
Qty:3

Pearl Extract Mask
-Increase suppleness&elasticity of skin
exfoliation of dead skin cells
Qty:1

Osmosoft Mask
controls sebum activeness&oil secretion, helps tighten&minimize pores, anti-acne
Qty:18

Marigold Extract Mask
Hydrates&smoothen skin,
Qty:1

Hydrating Eye Mask
Qty:1

Honey protein mask
-increase collagen, improves healing process&elasticity
protect our skin against UV ray
Qty:1

Jelly type L-ascorbic acid whitening mask
(advice ! not suitable for sensitive skin, i will not be responsible if it cause you any skin problems ! )
Qty:3

Caviar Extract Mask
- provides very gentle but intense deep cleaning action, eliminates oily residue&constricts swelling skin pores . Suitable for everyday use
Qty:4

Edible Nest of cliff Swallows Mask
- rejuvenates&locks moisture in our skin. Aids renewal of skin&improving skin texture. Increase skin metabolism, elasticity of skins, prevents wrinkles&slow down aging process
Qty:12

Arbutin Mask
prevents melanin formation, increase skin metabolismrate, skin elasticity,uneven skin tone&skin dullness
Qty:1

Aloe Vera & Vitamin E Mask
lightens skin pigmentation & improves skin texture, Hydrating the skin, Anti-Aging, Radiates skin and improves skin elasticity
Qty:7

Do support okays ?
If response is good i will ask my mum to continue :D
I will seal the mask in the zip like plastic&wrap it nicely before passing/mailing it to you guys ! (:

2008-11-25T22:43:00.000+08:00

Happy birthday sweetest ! (:

2008-11-16T16:54:00.003+08:00

Waiting for sweetest's sms .
Sweetest's over at Cameron Highlands .
*sign

I did something naughty today , really really naughty .
its without permission .
I wonder if sweetest will go crazy looking at it :D

Bookfest with xinying tomorrow .
I need to do some shopping for presents&clothes !
honey , accompany me (:

2008-11-08T13:58:00.000+08:00

4 months (:

2008-10-29T23:49:00.003+08:00

I had enough , since idk when
what a stealer you are .
Yeahs , although it does not mean that i own them , but you created a distance between us(s)
Friend - stealer .

Though most of the time , i act like nothing happened .
that does not mean that i didn't care at all .
we were also so close , but you spoiled everything .
created a wall between he/she&me .(whatever it is ! )
&act like nothing happened, forgetting that you once told me , you DISLIKE them to the core .

yes , whenever this happen , i distance myself from them,
i gave attitude, ignore .
I know that they were not the one who were wrong, but !
i can't act like, i don't know anything when you are obviously trying to pull them away from me

It happened again&again , till I'm sick of it !
whats the problem with you ?
creating a gap between them&me is so fun ?
that you felt so satisfied after doing that ?

I share , because I don't own them&people have their own friends.
get that into your mind .
I don't care how people say/look at me , i go my own way .
I can stand on my own at the toughest moment
don't think of making me fall , don't ever think of that , you won't succeed .

In fact , you treat all your friends as a stand by , you pick them according to your mood .
YOU WERE NEVER TRUE , ITS ALWAYS AN ACT
I have seen through you .

I won't say who you are , it won't change anything .
Don't spend time trying to guess , unless you are guilty .

2008-10-17T22:11:00.000+08:00

You know you can't hide anything from me
I read you like a book :D

2008-10-08T21:57:00.001+08:00

Shopping spree in The Body Shop :D

2008-10-05T16:13:00.002+08:00

KOHXINYI ! YOUR EYEBALLS BETTER POP OUT AFTER READING THIS !

First of all , Happy Birthday to Myself, my anut&juncheng(:
Thanks people for all the birthday greetings&presents (:

One more paper to go&that's the end of my Nlevel :D
killer paper on tuesday , anybody revised already ?

went Imm on Friday with two of my ♥♥ (:
Brought puzzles , going to play with it once KOHXINYI HONEY's Olevel end .

Sweetest is PS KIA !
meeting Jo later , lalalalas !
that siaochabor , called me just now&scream over the phone -.-"

I love my honey honey honey !
cheer up ! (:

2008-09-21T22:20:00.005+08:00

I'm still having so much fun despite Nlevel are round the corner .
Bake pizza&rice with XY last Friday , fun fun fun !
made lunch-cum-dinner for sweetest too (:
sweetest surprise me with this little monkey at my void deck .
I had been hugging this cheeky-smiling-looking-cute-monkey to sleep .
loves loves !
*i think my bed looks like a farm or zoo , with monkey , pig&dog .

Met up with my KOHXINYI honey<3 yesterday .
I was really crazy&random .
brought her a stalk of sunflower :D
my honey dosen't know how to hold it -.-"
I was playing with her Iphone&ignored her when she wanted to take photo.
hahs
so she took revenge lohs , anyhow snap me

Sunflower makes her smile :D

After being nagged by her like continuously , gave in to her&took this retarded photo :D

I love her many many !
8years&counting (:

Honey is a strong strong girl&will smile like she always do (:

bus home as usual with honey .
sweetest came&fetch me home from the bus stop, though its almost going 10 .
hearts ! <3

2008-09-05T23:38:00.000+08:00

I'm gonna hug my phone to sleep tonight .
Sweetest , you know why (:

2008-09-03T21:35:00.001+08:00

double image for the whole day ,
therefore , i own two sweetest thing , hahas :D
SS was still considered alright , i guess .

Was surfing through the net just now ,
when i pass by shireen's blogshop , the mickeymouse mp3 .
almost immediately , i remember the reward Jo still owe me :D
hehs , she did agree to get me that , but with the condition that I'm able to get it before she goes for her holiday .
ahs , that bitch !

*snaps 2-3 weeks .
my bitch ars , ur NY trip is still 2 months away ,
you can't get away :D
loves !

**sweetest thing keep whining that i neglect him umpteen times .
sayang okays ?
hahas ..

2008-09-02T23:39:00.000+08:00

The sweetest drug&addiction .
Ss paper tomorrow , lucks !

2008-08-29T22:05:00.001+08:00

Its either now or never ,
people should just learn .

2008-08-17T20:58:00.002+08:00

Whatever i said here , is all my thoughts , nobody else is to blame !
Whatever you 3 aren't happy about , come&find me .
Not anybody else .

You 3 are getting on my nerves .
I don't want to do what u did in primary school .

Jo , I'm sorry i couldn't join you guys for the confrontation today .
i was too time , i would go the next round .
Don't dirty your hand slapping that person ,
leave it to me , i had slap him numerous time .
No difference anymore .
*winks (:

2008-08-15T22:05:00.003+08:00

Since you all know , then i won't hide anymore .
Yeahs , i agree that I'm super guailan .
But , thats only to certain people
&so unfortunately , you all are group under the certain people .
Don't wait till i flare my worst temper .
If its not for sweetest thing ,
i swear , i would had made a scene .
A big big scene !
I won't care about your(s) pride .

*If she is not bad , why would we say about her ? *
Ohs , this sentence would actually come out from your mouth .
well , why not rephrase it ?
If you people hadn't done anything , would i say you all ?

Say it in my face&not my back .
Trying to make things difficult for my sweetest thing is as equal as making things difficult for me .
You call yourselves friends of his ?
Have you all really thought of his feelings ?
For him , i title you all FUCKER !
Remember that !

I know you all do read my blog .
Don't act in front of me , so fake !

Friends Forever ?

2008-08-12T21:14:00.001+08:00

B3D

I got a 3 , much more better that what i had expected .
&distinction for oral , holy cow !
yeahs , I'm gonna retake it .

I passed my mock paper by god's grace .
tell me , lucky a not ?
My mood was swinging from high to low&low to high .
I'm glad that sweetest thing was there for me the whole day .

Jo came over my house in the noon .
she brought damn lots of junk food&fruits .
I can't deny that she is really my bitch , the one who understands me in&out
I wasn't in the mood to go out&the next moment , she ring me up&said she will be coming over !
toodles ! I ♥ her many many !
whats more , she even brought my fav deli potato :D
&we touch on that sensitive issue , FRIENDSHIP .
*sign
I always try to avoid this topic from Jo
If you try to convince her that FRIENDS ARE FOREVER ,
she will F**K you upside down .
I'm neutral about it ,
it must depends who i meet , who are able to convince me in believing it .

Friendship is a thing that needs both party to put in the effort to maintain it .
Actually , friendship is very similar to relationship .
Everybody has to play a part in it .
When one give a ' bo- chap ' attitude , everything just falls apart .
&like what Guan Ling told me , convenient friend .
Isn't that scary ?
Jo agree wholeheartedly with me .

Then again , i think that Jo's mind went a little crazy today ?
She actually told me that i made her believe that friends are forever
I think i laughed like mad , when she told me .
Yeahs , she is one of those who i see that our friendship will last forever .
Reason(s)

She understands me like nobody does .
She always stand by my side when i need someone .
She gives me the best advice&help me make the best decision .
She never betray me , neither does she hide things from me .
She helps me when others try to make my life difficult .
Because we can say anything without fearing that we will get angry .

Of course , Jo is not the only one , i have more .
just that i don't think there is a need to name it out .

Ps: Daddy say he will reward me
Ps/s: JIEKIE is real crazy now
Ps/s/s:I study 3 hrs straight today :D with Jo's help

Nuisance

2008-08-09T21:02:00.004+08:00

I just can't understand how childish people can be .
don't you guys know that doing that is as equal as ruining yourself ?
saying&doing all those things doesn't make you all look better or stand out more .
Its just making you look stupid&childish .
Isn't it time for you all to wake up ?

Aisha
I don't know what exactly happen to you ,
neither do i wish to know .
Still , no matter what happens , doesn't give you any right to behave like this .
what's with all the changing that you are doing ?
what are those friends that you used mixed with ,
how much they mean to you , have you thought of it ?
Giving them attitude as&when you like ,
they don't deserve this treatment , mind you .
I had to admit , initially , i was worried about you
&don't mind you sticking with me .
But your behavior&speech really get on my nerves .
You aren't Xy or Kala , they can take my things without my permission
or sharing my things throughout the day or lesson .
Because I'm used to it , Xy can forget to bring her stationary&i can share it with her the whole day .
Kala can forget to bring her calculator&we can share it the whole maths lesson ,
we take turns or help each other to calculate .
what about you , am i THAT CLOSE with you ?
to the extend that you can just come to my table to take&use my thing or taking it back to your table or home ?
i don't know if you forget , because is the first place , you didn't even ask for permission .
&when you take my calculator , you think that you own it&don't even give it back to me when i need it .
Isn't that SO selfish ?
I don't care if the recent happening was your doing ,
but i have enough reasons to believe that you did it .
You mind me for staring at you ,
you mind me for saying you ,
&don't mind you for blogging that .
Because you totally deserve it !
what is happening is not other's fault ,
its what you had caused&invited .

Tiffany
Maybe , i didn't taught you well .
But that speech you made , really ruin everything you had .
Its not that Jo&I don't wanna help ,
its just beyond what we can do .
I know of your ability of doing better then them ,
but that doesn't mean that you could say them .
They are putting in the effort to meet your expectation ,
give them time , just like who i give you all the time you needed .
Girl , i believe that you understand what I'm trying to say&you know what you should do .
Make me proud of you alright ?

That 3 have-not-grow-up guys
You guys are simple dumb if you think that saying those things would affect me
A big HELL NO to you people .
Don't you all feel gay doing that ,
guys talking behind a girls back ?
Ultra gay+childish .
I won't put up the names cause i know it would someone who mean the world to me
There's isn't any use , neither will it hit me hard
cause for that person , i could tolerate more then i used to .
But that does not mean that i won't get back at you all .
What you give is what you get .
&you three looked so much like steam chicken .

______________________________________________

went to kala's chalet yesterday ,
went early to help her .
&home around 11 plus .
anyway , thanks for inviting , i had a great time (:
these few days had been great for me .
not because of what i did , but because of what someone had done for me .
Its an addiction .

2008-07-26T17:47:00.002+08:00

Firstly ,
Happy belated birthday to Jo;Queenie&Leon;Partner-in-crime (:

POA lesson was cancel that day , that explains why I'm able to join the celebration earlier .
Well , the birthday girl received kisses&hugs from me as usual .
&the birthday boy got smack hard by me :D
Presents ? when we all have time then buy lahs !

This few days , i was pissed off by this particular person
whatever it is , i had enough
since you choose to be so fake ,
don't blame it if people aren't true to you .
what you give is what you get !

alrights , someone made me cry on friday ,
that dumb ! i was crying right in front of that person can !
I'm going to make you cry on monday
I swear !
&that person abandon me for bball just now ):

Date honey out next week ,
I'm finally able to see her :D
loves loves !

Jo, i promise i won't cancel anymore sentosa trip again :D
hehs (:

2008-07-19T22:37:00.002+08:00

H-A-P-P-Y

Alright , I admit i went a little crazy over the phone just now
Waiting for someone to say something&scaring the wits out of that someone :D
&i super like yesterday afternoon , that wakeup call , made me lala~
I hope I'm able to hear it everyday *giggles*

I totally smell like cream puff last night
&my weekend are ruin due to the amount of homework i have
&the self revision i promised myself .

I'm smiling to myself now (:

2008-07-16T21:57:00.001+08:00

&i made someone touched today (:

I'm struggling like mad with POA now .
pissed !

2008-07-14T20:07:00.002+08:00

Sweetest Drug .

Photo taking in school&dance too as Nicolette will be migrating to Australia .
I wanna follow her go !!
well , all the best to her (:
I guess , i will be missing her much much !
cause she never fail to make me smile at my lowest point .
Make sure you email me your address when you have settle down there .
so that I'm able to send you your thingys (:

Mother Tongue Listening tomorrow ,
Goodluck !(:

2008-07-14T14:58:00.001+08:00

over here at dance .
its a tiring day .
maybe i will update again when i reach home ?

sometimes i feel like I'm a small kid ,
who always wants your attention .
is that good or the other ?

2008-07-11T21:10:00.002+08:00

Quiz from Shannon
1. How long will you wait for someone you love?
It depends .

2. What do you want to do now?
Shower&sleep

3. What will you be doing at 6pm?
Ems , see tomorrow's plan ?

4. Do you hate your friends sometimes?
Not really , more of angry

5. Where do you wish to die?
In your arms

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
Yeahs , i always do .

7. What are the impossible things you wish to do?
To turn back the time

8. Is there something which you wished never happened? What is it?
too much too list it out ..

9.Are you happy with your life now?
Yeahs , somehow

10. What if your crush asked you out?
see my mood lohs .

11. What will you do when you feel bored?
Chat with my lee malu malu :D

12. What feelings do you hate the most?
Ehhs , emptiness

13. If you will be separated from your loved one(s) for quite a period of time, what will be some things you want to tell them?
I love ya all !:D

14. What is your biggest dream?
To live without worries

----

Quiz from Pei ling
1.What's the connection between you and the last person that called you?
Xinying , boyf!

2.Do you ever turn your cell phone off?
when I'm irritated by the in-coming calls

3. What happened at 10.00am today?
Trying to hide from mr seow :D

4. When did you last cry?
ehs , hehs :D

5. What is your favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?
none .

6. What do you want in your life right now?
Everything to be fine

7. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put up your hood?
depends .

8. What's your favorite thing to have on your bed?
my piggy

9. What bottom are you wearing now?
FBT pants

10.What's the nicest text in your inbox say?
Queenie! i super duper wuper love love ya lahs ! *shakes shakes*

11. Do you tends to make a relationships complicated?
Of course not .

12. Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
nope.

13. What was the last movie you caught?
ehs , its something about dance . forget the tittle already

14. What are you proud of?
Be myself .

15. What does the oldest text message in your inbox say?
YEO J-MIN ! what time are you coming home !

16. What was the last song you sang out loud?
Big girls don't cry .

17. Do you have any nicknames?
yeahs

18. What does your last received text message say?
Cannot dont know , must choose.. want or dont want ?

19. What time did you go to bed last night?
12 am

20. Are you currently happy?
ems , somehow

21. Who gives you best advice?
My bitch lohs (:

22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
no

23. Who did you talk on phone last night?
Bitch (:

24. Is anything bugging you right now?
Yeahs , i want to scold the person who is irritating my xinying boyf!

25. What/Who was the last thing/person to make you laugh?
That f*ck face Jo gave me

26. Do you wear toe socks?
no .

27. Who was the last person you missed a call from?
Crystal Johnson .

28. Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yeahs

29. What annoys you most in a person?
Two sided face

30. Do you have a crush on anyone?
No , loving .

31. Have you ever done cocaine?
no

32. What is the colour of your room?
white&pink

33. Would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollar?
No

34. Do you believed in the saying "talk in cheap"?
Yeahs

35. Who was the last person to lay in your bed?
ME, MYSELF&I

36. Who was the last person to hug you?
JO :D

37. What do you want to say to the person you have a crush on?

Depends

38. Do you have a life?

yeahs

39. Have you ever think someone died, when they really didn't?

No .

40. What is the reason behind your profile song?

There is no profile song

41. Who was the last person you saw in your dream?

Xinying boyf.

42. Last time you smiled?

Just

43. Have you changed this year?

Yeahs

44. What are you listening to right now?

Xinying's ranting .

45. Are you talking to someone when you doing this?

Yeahs

46. Do you walk with your eyes open or closed?

Open lahs

47. Is there a quote you live by?

Quite a few

48.Do you want someone you can't have?

yeahs . granddaddy

49. Have you ever played an instrument?

Piano , guitar , drum

50.what was the worst idea you've had in week?

Smack that 3 person hard .

51. What were you doing last night at 11.00pm?

sms-ing

52. Are you happy with your love life right now?

53. What song describe your love life?

Thats when i love you

54. Does the person know that you like him/her?

Think so ..

55. Who always make you laughs?

LEE XINYING lohs , who else ? she drives me crazy too

56. Do you speak other language other than English?

Chinese&a little of jap, french&korean

57. Are you blond?

Nope

58. What your middle name?

59. What are you doing tomorrow?

Stay at home :D tired~

60. What do you think you are like?

Siao gi na :D

61. Who will you choose to die with?

LXY , she will entertain me in heaven . BAHAHAS !

62.Where have you been today?

School, Home, IMM, Dance .

63. What game do you play often?

Cat-fighting with my bitches

64. Who are you missing right now?

sweetest thing

65. If you've to choose between friend & love, who will you choose?

I want both ! can ?

66. What are you doing right now?

talking on phone

67. Which primary school are you from?

Shuqun Primary School.

68. Name 3 colours that you like.

Black, red, bronze

69. What emotion you like to show?

craziness

70. What is life to you?

precious

71. If you have something troubling you, what will you do??

solve it myself

72. Who did you last chat in msn today?
Sky

73. Who do you admire the most?

My superb heroes

74. Which month are you born in?

October

75. How are you feeling right now?

Tired

76. What is the time now?

10:35 pm

77. Where are you now?

bedroom

78. What colour did you used to dye hair?

none

79. Why are you doing this test?

Pei ling chose me to do it

80. What do you do when you're moody?

sleep that day through

81. Are you stupid?

Yeahs , always

82. Who is more important to you?

Family

83. Do you think you have enough confident?

Somehow

84. Who is the person you trust the most?

IDK

85. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after a rain?

Yeahs

86. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?

All my dreams to come true

87. What is your goal for this year?

Get to sec 5

88. Do you believe in eternity love?

somehow

89. what do you love?

everything which caught my eye

90. Do you really think its Global Warming now?

Yeahs

91. What feeling you hate the most?

Emptiness

92. you cherish every single friendship of yours?

Yeahs

93. Do you believe in God?

Of course

94. Who cares for you the most?

parents, sweetest thing

95. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?

every thing is important

96. What'll you bring when you fight?

Myself

97. What have you regretted doing in your whole life?

not treasuring granddaddy more in the past

98. What i expect in myself?

ems , don't know ?

99. What if your stead two-timed you?

Chop him into two

100. Why are you living on this world?

Cause my mummy gave birth to me

2008-07-07T14:52:00.002+08:00

Cute a not !

the thunder made me jump just now ,
alone at home with nobody accompanying me .
Jo , you bitch !
don't remind me about that day already , its sooo embarrassing .

gonna make full use of today .
Its my choice for tomorrow ..

2008-07-06T21:45:00.002+08:00

read your text message just now ,
i guess my heart stop beating for a while .
be careful next time lahs !

I kissed granny yesterday :D
She's fun , cause she return kisses .
hahas , thats why i love her !

Its been five years ):

2008-07-03T14:33:00.002+08:00

Even in my dreams , I didn't know this will happen
Not every things that you ask i have to say
Sometimes, some things are better to be left unsaid .
I did rather be the one alone than to drag you down .

If you really want to know ,
I will just say , all the things that you had once ensured me .
its all fading .
Yeahs , perhaps , I'm too sensitive .
But you don't know how badly it affects me ?
even the thought of it kills .

My heart is so heavy that i even breathe properly .
The thought of any words&things bring tears .
&it's your words which affect me the worst .

Apparently , I'm so dead today .
I don't wish to smile
because after smiling , its just nothing but crying .
&I stood by the window from 11plus to 3 am last night .
The thoughts running wild .

2008-07-02T19:37:00.001+08:00

Fairytale don't always have a happy ending, do they?

2008-07-02T19:11:00.002+08:00

My heart is feeling soooo heavyyyy !
someone take a knife&stab it .
end it all .

Oral was fine for me,
but something i saw/heard today kills

You know where the feelings had gone to .
Don't deny , i trust my six sense, eyes&ears .

2008-07-01T16:03:00.002+08:00

I thought we would be able to avoid this sensitive topic .
Yesterday night prove me wrong .
I'm left speechless .
I know I may be harsh with my words
but thats the only way for you to move on .

I didn't know i would be that weak .

2008-06-30T20:15:00.001+08:00

May karma bless you all Bs!

2008-06-30T18:10:00.003+08:00

Queen ,

I know you care for me .
I know you won't harm me .
I know you are good to me .
I know you will always be the one there for me .
but its different when it comes to who is being there .

i know , we will be there for each other no matter what .
love ya , Jo .
thanks (:

it doesn't mean that I'm fine when i smile .
just like today when I'm in school .
I'm oh-so-not-right .
So feel like falling apart , tired of crying EVERYDAY !
i believe in Karma .
what goes around comes around , watch out .

2008-06-30T16:58:00.004+08:00

It isn't nice at all to start off the day like this
A text message to inform that there is dance in the noon
&later right after school , a call right after school : rush down immediately
what if i have to stay for Chinese class or go for Oral , skip it ?
DUH !

my heart always skip a beat when Mr Lance call ,
because it means , nothing good will be happening .
Yeahs , so hella true , like the call i got in the afternoon .
Rushed all the way home&there .
when i reached there , i closed my eyes&pray .
Let it be fine ..
Open the door , damn it !
that same typical atmosphere when somebody is trying to be funny .
I had to drag myself in , which is like that last thing , i ever though of .

Instead of joining the usual group , i choose to sit at the corner .
You guys know that I'm not feel right
especially when i saw someone that i don't wish to see at all .

2 freaking hours of brainstorming ,
when all the things was done already !
fed up a not you tell me ?!

adding up to the troubles that I'm facing .
Mr Lance , don't push me too hard .
I will just give up&drop out .

Jo , seriously i appreciate what you have been doing for me all these while .
but i really don't like what you said to me today .
what i have today is what i had been working hard for , not that I'm born with it .
you told me that you understand exactly how I'm feeling .
I'm sorry queen , but no .
You won't understand .
I know you have been through it before , but you have matt back then for you to fall back .
I have nothing !
I hope you will understand what I'm trying to tell you .

我不知道有了你的关心我会不会变得太贪心
i just don't feel good when i see you talking to her

2008-06-29T19:52:00.002+08:00

totally forgotten about the celebrations i promised the kiddy until Bitch came to remind me today
ahs ! *slaps myself~

Nlevel EL oral on Wednesday&Olevel MT Oral on Friday
Nervous , nervous .
i spent like an hour filling up the Testimonial Draft
kill my brain cells only -_-

Okays , seems like its going to rain now .
the thunder , brr !
i just heard someone shouting when she heard the thunder .
i hate raining days , cause my mind will go la la .

alrights , preparing for school tomorrow .
got a first-day-of-school feeling .
hmms ..

i just can't find the right word to describe how i feel at time .
the right word will only come , when I'm with you .

2008-06-28T23:29:00.001+08:00

i miss the phone call chats .
everything ..

*posted somewhere secret

2008-06-28T20:19:00.003+08:00

Ralph Lauren cologne

Darryl&Jim's birthday ,
got them each one of it , since they had been asking me to get them this .
got them the 50ml each .
okays , cost me quite a bomb though Jo did pay a little for it .
so , you two idiot , i expect something nice on my birthday :D

out on Friday ,
Town, Bugis, Central, Vivo .
hurhur , Matt was the slave driver the whole day .
&jo was trying to poke my eyes the whole day lahs .
tamade !
just because i refused to try PCD's new song ' when i grow up ' dance with her .
boo , you horrr !

made my spec today , hurhur .
I'm still not ready for study .
*sign ..

My heart feel so heavy ,
i wonder , if you still read my post .
i want to dance the whole night in the rain

2008-06-26T15:36:00.001+08:00

i thought i would be fine

WHAT THE ..

2008-06-23T14:18:00.002+08:00

i think i should be given the award , dumbest candidate .*sign !
everybody should get a pat for doing well .
for me , a stab for carelessness !

the shorter that it takes , the more people need ,
&i can happily write 6 down .
*slap myself *
well , completed the paper within 1 hour plus , checked&day dream .
as for history , hmms , idk what to say lahs !
i studied for V.T. , yeahs , studied you know ,
the the question came out , V.T. &part be was LON
FREAK THAT LON LAHS !
CHER ! YOU NEVER MENTION ABOUT LON CAN !
whatever , its common sense lahs , LON comes with V.T.
strangely , i know how to answer stalin's&hitler's question when i didnt touch a bit of it can !
&i can still dumbly choose to answer that question .
*sign.

forget about prelims , i wont care about the grades :D

2008-06-22T19:40:00.001+08:00

UPSIDEDOWN

hell is tomorrow , exams . *sign !
there is hundred&one things in my mind ,
cant really concentrate .
well , hope i will survive .

2008-06-19T21:15:00.001+08:00

my eye hurtsssss !
rest early today&study tomorrow .
intensive revision .

no matter how hard , i will pull it through .
on the verge of breaking down .

2008-06-18T22:16:00.002+08:00

i believe that , as time pass , everything will be alright .
&right now , i only want to study .

I almost went crazy the past few day&was so-not-me !
so sorry to those who were worried about me , espically Jo .
she is the best i can ever have .
neglecting her studies, family&boyf.
she was like 24/7 there for me .
whenever i break down , she will be here , right here .
thats queen .
also , xinyi honey , the small notes&present .
Joyce , for the book&coming all the way down from toa payoh to my housing area .
&the tags :

Evelyn sis , i have thought about it already . its time to stop all this thing .
&i will be back to my normal self soon (: thanks !
Shannon , i will do it next time (:
Weijing , thanks
Xinying , thanks boyf. ! (:
Darryl , it okays , just that next time , i will take the knife&stab you instead :D also , thanks for being there for me alike J0 , your the best brother i ever have (:
Steph❤ , thanks girl !(:
Huiyuan , thanks lady ! (:
Jiamin , hmms its really hard to be happy , but i will try (: thanks !
☆ XINYI ツ , honey honey ! thanks a million ! you know i love you&i know you love me too :D
winne , you crazy girl . thanks , really ! (:
Seiwei , take care (:
Crystal Johnson , i will be back into dance as soon as possible , i won't disappoint you , thanks too ! (:

Nearly forgotten their birthday this year ,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DARRYL, JIM, PHILIP&ANNA (:
Darryl&Jim: as usual , i will still be nagging you all forever . My brothers , one year older already okays ! Don't every time bully me. got karma one hors . so sorry that i'm quite a wet blanket during your party .&so sorry that you guys have to go along with me to held it at my housing area and still have to pull me out of my house . hmms , well , i still go in the end what ! we will still be brother&will forever be . Best wishes&God bless you ! :D

Philip : Ai seh , you grow up luhs lohs ! will ' an wei ' me today . hahas .well , hope that every thing out there is well for you . Best wishes& God bless you (:

Anna : Beauty queen of only 15 . I'm still one year bigger then you lahs . dont yaya with me . i will still win you . hahas . girl , one year older already . Ilovveyou lahs girl ! yeahs , we will hit the dance floor one day (: Best wishes& God bless you . :D

though everything was still so not right for me now but i will just let it be .
&leave everything to my lord
I'm so sure , he know whats the best for me .
just that , I'm so lost , without you .

this song is so me . sign .

Until I Get Over You - Christina Milian

2008-06-13T23:57:00.001+08:00

i used up my whole tissue box ...

2008-06-13T22:53:00.003+08:00

my head is spinning , nothings right .
like what i had said , I'm gonna let go no matter how difficult is it .
my hear&mind is so heavy .
I'm breathing hard , the tears in my eyes blur the vision .
I can't feel my heart beat .
no matter what it takes , I'm gonna walk alone this time .
I feel like killing myself for making you feel like this
don't call yourself in that manner anymore .

眼泪代替你吻我的脸
I feel so dead , every thing's bleeding .
I wish i can go to hibernate n never wake up again.

2008-06-12T21:30:00.010+08:00

[ -/edited ]

don't read it if you don't wanna waste your time .
this whole post will be all my complains&nothing else .
if any of the content irritate you , thats your own business !

I have got so much to say that idk where to begin .
you blew off my dreams time to time , again&again .
today , i accidentally cut my hand , i made a BIG fuss about it .
complaining that its superb pain&itchy .
only until i saw the message you text me ,
yeahs , only then , i knew , what really hurts .
my heart went ' thud ! ' after i read the message .
fcuk it all , thats what i could think at the moment !

when is the last time , may i ask you , sir ?
this is the fcuking 3rd time !
idk when will really be the last time , neither do i wish to know .
every time , your assumption questions kills !
each&every time you assure me that its the last time .
&every time , i choose to believe in you .
now , i no longer do so .
So what if i really love you ,
there can't be love when there is no trust .
So , don't talk about love when there is no trust at all .

I'm a girl , i need more assurance than you .
I assure you again&again .
I had given you what i could give .
If my love for you was so weak that you can't feel it
to the sense that you can't trust me ,
there's nothing i could do at all .

every single time , when you are stress , i suffer ,
its like a routine , every once in a while , you acted up .
hey , i don't fcuking hell deserve these shit can !
i don't give people second chance but you are an exception .
i don't want to endure this anymore .
i don't want to cry anymore .
i don't want to be hurt again .
A million of i don't want .
A million of tears i cried , its pins&needles .

Questions that you asked , i tried my best to give you the answer , even when i was more then reluctant to say anything .
to you , i said it all , without keeping anything .
still , not every question you ask i will have the answer .
sometimes , put yourself in my shoes&think , maybe i will be more grateful towards you .
instead of you making all the things worst .
I'm stress , seriously stress , for you , i gave&gave my best .
but it seems like , you just won't be happy or be contented with what you have&what i gave.
neither do you seems to appreciate what i did for you but only demanding for more .

let me ask , who is more faithful , you or me ?
i never think of other guys when we are together .
&what did you told me ? of course you will think of other girls .
i said nothing .
i kept quiet .
i didn't make a fuss .
i didn't start a scene .
i did nothing but let you be .
cause i always trust you .
but what about you ?
Is it my fault that other peeps like me ?
Is it my fcuking fault ?
I didn't go up to them&say , " hey , can you peeps like me ?"
I can't control what they wanna do , likewise , i can't control you .
&when i did nothing , you told me to be faithful .
whats with that ?
you said you want to be with me until your last feelings faded .
so , it means that , you must be the one who ask me to go
instead of me asking you to go ?

let me ask you , have you seriously consider about my feelings before you text me anything ?
its only when the pain is done , then you realize what you did .
you pushed all the blame to your stress , confused , jealousy&any other thing you could think of .
after that , do you learn from your mistakes ?
hell no !

is trusting me so difficult that i had to classify it as an impossible task ?
you took away the smallest trust i need&threw me down the cliff .
you call doubting as concern ?
you tear down every single thing you built in the past .
&now , left with nothing at all .

Relationship is like glass . Sometime it's better to leave them broken then try to hurt yourself putting it back together .

when i smile it doesn't mean that I'm alright .
I'm just trying to be strong .
I'm just trying to be happy.
I'm just trying to laugh .
I'm just trying not to cry anymore .
I'm just trying not to think anymore .

No matter how much i love you now ,
you won't know , neither do i wish to say
&now , no matter what ,
i want to put everything down .
For the love i had for you ,
i will just keep it in my heart ,
for , lord will know what to do with it .

这次，不管有多痛，多舍不得，多爱你
我也要放下。
这样，我们会比较好过。

I hope you could understand .
I don't care how people or your friends would think or judge me .
I'm just too weak to think/care now .

Yes , Jo , your are right , i need you by my side now .
I'm too weak to carry on .
xinyi honey , tomorrow , lend me your shoulder .
xinying boyf , thanks for standing by me all these while .

I lost faith/trust or anything related to the word love/relationship .
Fairytale is all lies .

this song , describes my feelings now .

"Behind These Hazel Eyes"

Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

-------

my lord , you told me ,
forgive&forget .
but now , I'm sorry that i fail you .
I really can't be my usual self to forgive&forget .
for , I really hurt .

2008-06-09T23:03:00.001+08:00

lucks to my kiddys tomorrow (:

2008-06-02T23:12:00.002+08:00

3 bruises , 1 big patch of scratches&a few cuts on my knees .
i admit , I'm accident prone :D

stayed up late these few nights to get all the port folio done .
still a little more to go

mood swing these few day was pretty bad .
it goes up&down and up&down .
everything is so screwed up !

D-E-A-D

2008-05-31T10:43:00.003+08:00

things just never get right ,
only worst .

i find it so hard to breath now , idk .
quarrel with mummy early in the morning , almost tearing the whole house down .
whatever , i don't give a damn now .
tuition at 1 , I'm rushing my homework now

after that , i think I'm going MIA
i don't know where i want to go too .

I want to rest , a good rest , a long long/forever rest (:

2008-05-30T21:35:00.002+08:00

On the verge of exploding .
super piss/angry !

everything that i come in contact with ,
regardless living thing or non-living thing .
i will just scold them upside-down
or rather fuck them upside-down .

i have never been so angry .
don't ask me why , cause i think there is no need for me to say out whats the fucking reason .

i just fucking hell need a rest ,
have been having fever since Monday .
spare me from those fucking tears/anger/sadness/whatever-it-is .

fuck it all .

2008-05-29T22:16:00.001+08:00

everything that i come in contact with just look so dead .

lesson from 9-1130 tomorrow .
after that city with Xy .

2008-05-29T16:15:00.001+08:00

everything just seems so wrong .
idk where to start .
I'm trying to smile ,
someone just make me happy can ?

2008-05-26T17:44:00.000+08:00

FUCKED UP .

2008-05-25T20:37:00.003+08:00

I lost everything in an blink of eye ,
I'm back to square one .

Not even give a choice , fair ?
stuck in between my parents&you .
its either them or you .
sorry , forgive me .
i choose them over you .

i cried like shit , seriously .
its like , i lost a part of me when i gave up the best thing i even had .
more then reluctant to let go , i still let it go .
i know i was cruel , i had no choice .
forgive me , though i know , I'm not worth your forgiveness
&the decision is to let you go is definitely right .
at least you won't suffer with me .
i want you to be happy , I'm not worth .
blame me if you want , i don't mind . cause i know I'm wrong .

for 1 month plus ,
every night without fail , two hours of ranting&scoldings
i tolerated , i hide from everybody .
thinking that , one day , they will accept .
no ! hell wrong !
things just go worst , so wrong .
at times , in the night , when i go out to the kitchen , i look down the window .
i think to myself , let everything just come to an end can ?

tired , really tired .
family , you , studies , friends , dance
I'm just a 15 going 16 ,
i can fcuking hell take the weight of so much things .
i will break down
&i have already break down .

that choice was given me so suddenly ,
i didn't know how to react to it .
didn't want to affect your exam ,
but i failed .
i hope that you wont get affected .
i have nothing to say ,
just that letting go would make things easier .

smile though the tears ,
i want to be strong but i just fcuking hell cried every where i go
major breakdown this afternoon ,
i don't know how long i cried ,
but JO , thanks for lending me your shoulder , i know i wet it , totally .
XINYI honey , thanks for the concern , i really really appreciate it
XY , thanks for spending time with me this afternoon , even though you know there is a major paper tomorrow .
SH , thanks for trying to stop me from crying .

i won't blame my parents ,
i won't disobey my parents .
but , i just find it hard to adapt to what i am now .

again , sorry for hurting you .

2008-05-24T16:31:00.004+08:00

how far will everything stretched ,
till the end of my patience or tolerance ?

yesterday was disastrous,
SS, English oral then Chinese remedial .
i wrote really really a lot for SS , though i did not study.
i even wrote one whole page for question 1c
i have no confidence passing that paper though .
&again , i blabber a lot of shit to Mrs Bala during oral .
Chinese remedial was pretty fine .
went home right after that .

Brother gave me a call&asked me to go down immediately
because ... there is nobody at the studio to cook lunch for him .
such an arse he is !
dance was okays , the kids put all their effort in everything they do .
i can see that , thanks to all (:

crazy times after that ! :D
true or dare is loveeeeee (:
all i could said was , it was really crazy
i dare sally to go topless&she really went topless !
OMG ! i thought only JO&me is that crazy and daring when it comes to game .
i guess , we found a new partner (:

bused home with ming jie, he can't stop drumming on his plastic file
i told him that i would turn him into doreamon if he continue druming .
hehs , finger-less .
home&slept

tuition this noon , revision for Tuesday mock test .
met JO, Darryl&Aaron that
dance planning&chilling at coffee bean now
using Darryl lappie to update .
Aaron is being a kapo ! a big big one .
&Jo is so engross reading her book .
being a loner , i kept poking aaron who is sitting beside me
he knows i'm moodless , so i started my blabbering
Darryl&Jo is not listening to my blabbering .
&darryl is happily drinking his ice latte ,
i hope he get choke !

there is something seriously wrong ,
i hope you can sense/feel it .
i'm extremely tired holding on, everything is stressing me out !
give me a break&let me be alone

2008-05-12T21:44:00.002+08:00

all of the sudden , i don't know how to smile ,
i don't know how to laugh.
yes , i was smiling&laughing all the way today .
but , do you guys know how much i bleed inside ?
i don't like the feeling of being doubt ,
i don't like the feeling of not able to think probably .
i hate the numbness

i went totally crazy this afternoon when i reach home ,
i took out all the fruits in my fridge&cut them into cubes .
&i only realised that after i pack them nicely .
so , i called Jo&told her , i 'cook' her dinner for her
she happily came over to my house&i passed her a big box of fruits .
she almost strangled me to death .

everything seems to be going haywire .
can some kind soul out there come&rearrange the wires ?

2008-05-12T17:45:00.001+08:00

TIRED ~

I'm going to take a short nap now
will continue to edit my profile&update more later .

that pain is killing me ..

2008-05-08T22:05:00.001+08:00

just give me a stab ,
i can't stop the tears from flowing .

2008-05-05T15:52:00.002+08:00

I can give you nothing but love&affection&all the attention you need .
I have never been so blessed until we got together .
I love you without reason and that is reason enough .
You could put all the hearts together in the world
&that still wouldn't describe how much I love you

Happy 1st month anniversary (:

i won't be updating that often lately ,
though i'm always not updating .
I'm super moodless now ):

My lappie just died on me a few days ago .
perhaps getting it back on wednesday ?

takecare people (:

2008-04-26T14:34:00.002+08:00

It took me 5 whole minutes just to sit on the floor .
damn ! the pain really kills !
lack of sleep kills too .
my panda is getting more&more obvious each day .

Dance yesterday was really fun .
its more like a gathering compared to lesson .
almost all my seniors came .
i love them to the bits .
i got hugs&kisses from my girls seniors
&a pat on my head from my guys seniors ,
cause they said they can't resist the temptation of flattening the bun on my head .

Theme colour for yesterday was WHITE :D
everybody came in white .
i was in my white skinny&top plus sliver heels .
JO was super white yesterday , BAHAHAHAS !

Celebrated Sky&Christ's birthday with a big big bang ! =D
craziness , i guess we all had fun (:

2008-04-25T17:33:00.002+08:00

H-U-N-G-R-Y !
Jo is being a bitch now ,
she said she will be here by 5 , but she is still not here .
&Darryl too , where is my dinner ?
I'm dying of hunger ):

I left in the dancing studio with Aaron&Christ .
&they are both sound asleep .
booooooooo ~!
waiting for crystal to come&start on the new dance .
i have already dance for 3 hours straight :/

DINNER ! ):

2008-04-20T17:26:00.004+08:00

hot ! i wish i could dance like this too .

when will this whole thing stretch ?
till the end of my patience or the end of the time ?

Jo Queen called me last night , crying .
its all Matthew's fault can !
Jo Queen+Matthew= complicated couple
talked for 2 hours or so ?
i guess i was a guy my previous life ,
cause i taught JO quite a number of absurd thingys .
Matthew's gonna die in our hands !
slept at 2 am .
for the sake for my queen , it doesn't matter at all

sometimes i just wish that I'm still a 3 year old girl .
not expose to any complicated that I'm facing now .
what are humans heart made of ?
aren't it suppose to be caring, , sharing&loving people other you ?
why is it that now , humans heart seems to be blinded by hatred , jealousy , lust&power ?
once , Darryl&I was discussing something about dancing
though i had no idea what we said that lead to the word perfect ?
thats why i told him to define perfect .
no doubt that the past was perfect , but not now .
NO LONGER .
everyday when we open our eyes ,
the first thing that we thought of is : what a day again ! pfffts !
so , whats the meaning of the whole thing again ?

2008-04-19T12:24:00.002+08:00

BAD DAY .

All the things started from Thursday ,
i was complaining&ranting to HIM .
glad that he was there for me .

Friday was really bad .
i should not say anything about it .
break down&cried .
nothing was right .

he is back from Malaysia alr .
&at the gym now .
gonna wait for him to reach home
&have a rest before he contact me .
I'm struggling to stay strong ):
but i can't stop the tears .

2008-04-18T23:43:00.004+08:00

BREAK DOWN .

will try to update by tomorrow .
tuition tomorrow from 1 - 3 pm

thanks for being there for me , you know i can't afford to lose you
take care when you are at Malaysia
i miss you ):

2008-04-16T21:57:00.002+08:00

back from rehearsal .
tired&hungry ):
Rehearsal was boring , i swear
was there gossiping&girls chat !(:
they are the ones who accompany me the whole day .
Percious (:

was talking on the phone with NSW ,
i roughly counted the word ' sian ' he said .
more then 20 ' sian ' came from him .
make me so sian now ! hahas

okays , i'm gonna sleep now .
i had used up all my energy , running here&there .
PE tmr ):

2008-04-15T20:34:00.002+08:00

DOWN&LOW
nothing seems to be right .
NSW , how i wish you are right beside me now ):

JO is my full-time Queen&part-time Bitch !
she understands me more than anybody else
if not for her , i think i would had break down today .
i want this week to be over soon
thats when i have the time to go to my dancing studio
&dance the whole day .
I MISS ! ):

2008-04-14T20:51:00.003+08:00

幸福的小女人 (:
that token of love (:
i didn't tell you that i did cry when i saw that message you sent me
not sad , but tears of happiness .
i blessed , just being with you (:

I'm being tease for almost the whole day .
humphs !
this week gonna be a tiring week for me
Speech day this Friday .
After this week , its time for me to brush up on my studies .

&&i will miss dance dearly !
all the fun&shouting .
thats where i distress&dance all day long (:

2008-04-13T21:48:00.001+08:00

http://www.theinterviewwithgod.com/

2008-04-12T16:30:00.002+08:00

FINALLY , i can meet KOHXINYI tomorrow ! (:
hopefully she won't say that she is too tired after her tomb-sweeping
&can't meet me . humphs

I have been thinking what to get for him the whole night :/

I swear that yesterday's dance lesson was high can !
was so tired after i reach home .
Jo bitch&i really created a havoc at the studio :D

tuition later from 6-8 pm :/

I know that I'm being random here , because i just wake up from my nap .
&my mind is blank .
only wondering if his flu&muscle ache is better .

2008-04-11T15:29:00.003+08:00

Skipped today's speech rehearsal as i had dancing lesson .
Quite a while since i saw my dancing peeps .
I'm gonna dance all night today (:

Stayed back for maths remedial ,
FUN !
walked to the bubble shop with SeiWei , Kala , Lipboon&Chinwei .
&I'm home now .
going out soon !

will blog again tonight when i reached home .

I ♥ NSW (:

2008-04-09T19:41:00.002+08:00

I'm alone at home&the weather is scary !
dinner tonight is UHHH ! ):
i so tired now but my homework is left to rot .
staying back tomorrow until 5pm&tuition will be postpone to 6:30pm ,
i guess :/
dance on Friday ?
only if I'm alive enough to go (:

School was alright today , i guess .
went IMM for lunch with XY
&went back to JE library to meet joyce
after that , went to find the others .
2.4 KM tmr ):
can i don't run ?

I miss __ now ):
wonder if he is back home , humphs !

2008-04-07T21:13:00.003+08:00

School today was fun ,
esp the last two periods .
the oral conversation , i had it with JIAMIN (:
Physics was the best !
TANLIPBOON had a fall :D
He even slap me before he fell , shit him !

home with WILNA.
did my homework&took a short nap at granny's house .
NIXON came over in the evening ,
HE IS SO CHUBBY ! (:

ohs yars , i deleted quite a number of links .
sorry if i deleted yours .
just tag me&i will link you back (:

LOVE (:

2008-04-05T07:50:00.003+08:00

I can't sleep !
I'm starting to feel unwell again !
should i go&consult the doctor ?
I'm lazy to walk out of my house lahs .
only if i never play water with my baby cousin yesterday
maybe i'm much better already .

tuition later&tomorrow
i still have not complete my homework :/

*******************************************

I miss my KOHXINYI HONEY<3 like hell can !
its been such a long time since we met up .
cause both of us have been busy .
but i don't care lahs !
i gonna just suddenly pop out at your house one day
&ask you to accompany me go study :/

A belated birthday message for you (:
Thanks for the friendship that you had given me .
times really flies . From primary 3 kid to now , Secondary 4 .
though we lost contact for almost one year !
I'm still glad that even though of the gap ,
we still managed to be so close with each other .
the crazy times we had ,
the shopping trips we accompany each other .
though , most of the time we just went home empty handed .

thank you for the times when you stood by be .
thank you for the times you catch me when i fall .
thank you for the times when you talk sense into me .
thank you for being there for me when i confuse&down .
A million thanks to you !

8 years of friendship&I'm still counting !
I love you ! (:

2008-04-04T22:25:00.003+08:00

my hand is now shaking&trembling
due to the questions I'm being ask .
I can't imagine that my hand will be shaking&trembling to this state ,
that my cup of water actually spill .
Arrs ! I'm in the confuse state .

i thought that you might be the shoulder for me to lean on .
yet , you said wait .
will the answer bring smile to my face this sunday ?
i must admit , i don't have that kind of feeling of quite a while .
yet , when you asked me that kind of question ,
the feeling just came out of the blue . . .

2008-04-03T19:38:00.002+08:00

there have always been ups&down in life .
I'm glad that when I'm down , i have friends to walk through with me .
&today i really need to thanks KALA and BESTFRIEND; Sei Wei :D
because i really feel better after talking to them !

sick !
headache , fever&aching all over ):
after my shower , i just slept so soundly .
&now , POA not revised , maths not done .
J-min , you can just go&bang the wall !

to my friend .
i had always been giving you chance .
yet , you just let me down every time .
its tired holding on to this .
I'm just standing at the edge of the cliff ,
one more time &thats the end of me .
you should be the one building me up , not tearing me down .

SUPERMAN , where are you !?
i need you ):

2008-03-31T18:43:00.002+08:00

once , i scored high enough to make me smile

Jo , my bitch just called me
we finally had a long chat .
aww , i really miss her !
we chatted everything under the sun ,
life , studies , songs , dance , people&ROMANCE :D
half way though the talk ,
i got angry for no rhyme or reason ,
i just kept very quiet , not willing to speak a single word .
Jo is definitely my bitch !
its amazing how she knows that I'm angry ,
nobody would ever knows that I'm angry .
so , we talk about my problems (:
had to admit that , i really feel better after talking to her
though she did not gave me any good idea
to assist me in solving my problems .

alrights , i really don't know whats going on between us .
those fun&laughters just seems to fade off after some time .
can we just put aside all the other things
&be truthful to our feelings ?
梦境的眼泪

2008-03-30T20:54:00.002+08:00

I know i have neglected this precious blog of mine for sometime .
I'm so sorry !
as i simply don't have time to bolg a proper post
also to admit that , i did lose some interest in blogging

the way you caught my eyes

Ps : i will relink/link you guys soon !

2008-03-23T19:11:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday to ER HUI YUAN !
iloveyou girl !
i had sent a sms full of wishes to you this morning .
&i really wish that every wishes that you made while blowing ur candles will come true .
you deserve to get a reward that you can enjoy (:

alrights , I'm being nag Jo again !
for not joining them at the SPOP concert now .
in other words , I'm suppose to be at the concert now lahs .
then again , i gave it a miss .
don't ask me why i didn't go .
cause , i don't know why too .

i want to dance all day and night
till my sorrows and pains are gone .
thanks for chatting with me , at least i feel much better (:

2008-03-22T15:52:00.002+08:00

就像來不及許願的流星
再怎麼美麗也只能是曾經

i miss you all over again everyday
but the misses will never get lesser
i promise .

2008-03-12T11:59:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday to Koh xinyi honey !
iloveyou(:

2008-03-08T23:36:00.002+08:00

I just need a break ):

I'm being super guai these few days .
esp. Friday cause i drag Kala to attend maths remedial after school .
when i went up to MPR3 , the door is still lock , i kicked the door lahs !
in the end , only Kala,Sei Wei&me turned up .
Mr Ng came and find us after that .
he kept mediating can !

accompany shannon to wait for her bus when we left
&bubble tea with Kala .
Yee Fei came to find Kala after that&i went home while the went back to school .

Its hard to be strong when ur're missing a person so long

2008-03-05T20:41:00.005+08:00

Boring !
everyday is like the same routine for me .
School --> Home --> Study --> Sleep !
I know that if I want to pass my N level well this year ,
i will have to put up with a these :(
Arr !

Anybody want to buy mask !?
its directly form Taiwan , i have quite a number of them
supper cheap if you get in bulks
maybe you can grab your friends and buy together (:

if you are interested , E-mail me at
thepamperations-@hotmail.com
i will then give you the full details about it
or visit , http://www.freewebs.com/allgirlsneeds/masks.htm

*NOTE - mask ordered now will only reach during Mid April or end of April (:

2008-02-29T22:47:00.002+08:00

The leap year (:
i told myself to blog today as this date will only here after four years

2 tuition today .
could easily just go crazy :/

times seems to flies ,
term 1 is going to be over after next week
i sat down&ask myself .
what had i done for that one term ?
did i really excel in my studies ?
i swear , i'm gonna put in extra effort in my studies in term 2
Lord , help me stay focus in you too (:

i blog randomly just for the sake of blogging .

2008-02-27T20:33:00.002+08:00

History test today .
went to 4N3 to take the test .
sat at Hidafie's place ,
&when he came back , he sat behind me .
He was like disturbing me can !
I wrote 1&a quarter page but Taufik wrote only like one quarter page ??!
I swear that he is failing for sure !
gees*
Me too , don't expect me to pass either .

Stay at Resource room after that&watched The Eye 10
I SERIOUSLY CAN'T STAND MR RIZAM !
he is like laughing when he saw the ghost !
I'm like what the ...
speechless*

I only wish for eyes to met (:

2008-02-24T19:43:00.003+08:00

I actually hold my tears&smile at you .
the wider my smile is , the more painful it is .

I swear that i'm gonna have Monday Blues tomorrow ,
follow by Tuesday Blues , Wednesday Blues , Thursday Blues .
excluding Friday , I loooove Friday !
As Friday is the only time for me to throw my books aside
and leave some time for myself .

School till 2:15pm tomorrow followed by tuition at 5:30pm .
Sign *
can someone pamper me ?
PUH-leaseee !

2008-02-18T21:10:00.002+08:00

I kept ranting at Darryl just now .
i think he got irritated lahs .
&we end up bickering .
gees .
but , he ended up poking me&asked me not to get angry :/

anyway , Happy birthday to Zoe (:

2008-02-16T13:08:00.001+08:00

A warm smile is all you need now, as you're appreciating the smaller things in life.

My Valentine

2008-02-14T21:06:00.003+08:00

Happy Valentine's day ! (:

iwokeupalready
byallthethingsthatyoutoldme
inolongerwannabeafool
thanksforthewakeupcall
i'mgonnaputafullstopforallthesethings
itsnolongeracomma

Ah Long Pte Ltd wasn't that great i imagine
still , the film made me laugh hard in the cinema today .
I did not accept any date this year .
hehs !
guai hur ?
I only went to catch a movie with LXY&met up with Darryl only .
&i just reached home:/
Gonna get my homework done now ! (:

Nights !

2008-02-13T20:39:00.000+08:00

INTERACTION (:

i can`t help but say , i love you soooo ... !